A Pile of Family

Tonight was my first actual "rehearsal" and it was absolutely wonderful. While getting into my car to drive home, I was overwhelmed by how much I love the theater. At one point during rehearsal, I found myself thinking "I don't want this night to end." I remember when I was a college student (for the three months that I went to college) and I had to write a paper for an English class...it was just after I had been in Auntie Mame...and I remember writing that I knew I wanted to act...that Acting alone would never make me happy, but without it, I would never be completely happy. Of course, at that time I didn't know Jesus...he was there of course, I just wasn't with him...and acting was the thing I latched onto as a piece of fulfillment. In the years between then and now I have come to a much greater understanding of "happiness" and yet, tonight I really remember the utter joy that I experience on stage.

The whole experience of playing a mother of seven is going to be amazing...I've said it before...but I love these kids...I just want to squeeze them all 'til they pop. It's fascinating to see how many of them appear to have been cast in roles that really fit their actual temperament. It is also bizarre being on stage with "my" seven children, and getting some glimpse of the challenges that an actual mother of many might face. It's really difficult to pay equal attention to all the children. I found myself wondering while driving home how easy it would be with so many siblings to feel like the odd one out, or like mom has a favorite, or how each child might come up with various tactics for earning attention and favor.

We have a fairly small space that makes up our stage "home" so we are very cozy. I was reminded of my aunt and uncle who have 5 kids and they all just love each other so much (though they might not always admit it). At Christmas, when there are well over 20 people crammed into my grandparents living room to open presents, their whole family can be found all piled up together between half of a couch and the floor underneath it. They aren't even aware that they do it...it's just so much more natural for them to be close than it is for them to seek to be apart. That is the kind of family I would like my imaginary family to be.

The Read Through

Tonight the cast of Hanging of the Greens read through the script together for the first time. It is really a great story!

I left Eden Prairie for White Bear Lake at about 5:45. Half way there, as I was happily singing along, my i-pod stopped working. Then the radio stopped working. Then the ABS light came on. Then I noticed the clock was dim around the edges. Then I called Dan. Not that he could do anything over the phone, but ever since our conversion van broke down in the middle lane of 694 (at night, while I was driving it, alone), I have severe vehicular anxiety whenever things start and/or stop glowing in inappropriate ways. He assured me that it would be fine, so I drove all the way to the theater. When I got there, I turned off the car and then decided to see what would happen if I tried to turn it back on. It didn't turn back on...or start up...or whatever it is that cars do. So I called Dan. And he came out to WBL to make it work while I went inside to rehearsal. During a little break, I went outside to discover that the car had started right up for him, but he left me his car and drove the devil car home. It's not really a devil car...I love that car - it has heated seats - but I do not want to be in it if it stops working at a stop light or on the freeway.

Okay, so that was fun. I sat outside in the car waiting for someone else to show up so I could follow them in through the right door. When I got inside, there were two sweet "mature" women there - they were there to take measurements for costumes! How fun is that! I hope the silly excitement over such apparently routine theater thingys never goes away for me. So, the costume lady came at me with her tape measure and started rattling off my measurements (for all to hear) while the other lady wrote them down. As others arrived, they had measurements taken and we all settled in around a long, long table to read the script.

I have seven children of my own - which means 14 names to learn - and those are just my children. There are 22 in the cast; which means 44 names, well, 42 actually as I am fairly certain of my own names. Somehow, I find this more daunting than memorizing my lines. I hope to have them down by the time I go to my next rehearsal on Wednesday. I LOVE these children...they are amazing and friendly and happy and smiley and I think they will be almost as fun to hang out with as my nieces are. And that's a lot of fun.

I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that I have a fairly big part. Having now read the whole script, I am even more honored at the director's confidence in me to pull it off...I am so excited about this! There is a wonderfully dramatic scene where I am determined to make every mother in the audience weep. There is also a section of the story where the witch's forest spirit slaves are seducing the children out of their home and away from safety that gave me chills as we read it...it was creepy and wonderful...I can't wait to see what it looks like.

Mother of Seven

At long last (long being just over 24 hours), the waiting is over. I am ecstatic and honored to have been cast as a pragmatic mother of seven. I am pausing right now in my writing to look up the word pragmatic.

pragmatic
adjective
1. concerned with practical matters; "a matter-of-fact (or pragmatic) approach to the problem"; "a matter-of-fact account of the trip" [syn: matter-of-fact]

Also:

2. Archaic
Active; busy.
Active in an officious or meddlesome way.
Dogmatic; dictatorial.

If allowed, I will go with definition 1 as I long for the children and the audience to ADORE me.

Yesterday, as previously mentioned , I tracked down the director's blog like some kind of insane stalker. She had noted that the casting was complete and added that she was heartbroken because "there was one talented young actress I tried to fit in and it just didn't work." I read that sentence and felt a sensation not unlike that of being punched in the gut, only it settled more in my teeth for some reason. Because my vanity demands that everything be somehow related to ME, I assumed that I was the "talented young actress" who would not be cast in the show. And as the minutes, and then hours, ticked on, I became increasingly certain of this fact. Of course, there was the word "young" that really should have silenced my screaming ego; that and the fact that in a play involving a cast of 16 or so children, it's possible that the children might actually be the ones referred to as young. But it was nice to console myself with the idea that if in fact those words had been written about me, I could rest easier knowing that the director found me both talented and young.

At about 9:30 that night, I looked at my cell phone. I hadn't heard it ring, though I had been checking it about every 5 minutes since leaving the callback the night before. It announced to me in glowing digital spledor that I had Voicemail. The message was that of the sweetest variety...a lovely woman spoke the glorious words: "....we'd like to offer you the part of Aleena..." I called back immediately to accept the role.

The Callback and the Waiting

Ugh. The great news is that I got a callback for the play I auditioned for on Monday. The bad news is that now I'm waiting. I hate waiting...

I found the blog of the woman who is the playwright and director for the show...and it appears that casting is complete. However, I have not heard a word. From her blog, I linked to the blog of a guy who auditioned the same night as I did and was also at callbacks. As of about 4 hours ago, he is still waiting to hear as well...and I KNOW he will be cast, so there is still hope. Regardless of the outcome, I'm glad to have found their blogs due to my obsessive impatience. I learned that I really like the director, and hope to have other opportunities to audition for her in the future. She is quite a prolific playwright of children's theater and seems to genuinely love working with kids. I also learned that I like that guy too...he is also a rather prolific playwright and talked about Genesis and Adam and the significance of being named as it relates to discovering who your next character will be.

The callback was once again an entirely new experience. This time, we were all in the room together and got to watch each other do scenes. I really like that set up - I think it adds an element of friendly competition that can be incredibly motivating. There were only two people that I recognized from the first audition...one was one of the cute girls who had given me the thumbs-up. We smiled at each other and said, "Hi." We were all given scripts and a schedule of how the evening would unfold. I saw that I would be reading for two characters, the witch (which would be the most FUN of course) and the mother of 6 (which would be ALMOST as fun). The first scene the director had us read was one with just the children. And then I was up, reading as the witch twice with two different delicious little slave girls. I have this vision for the witch that is a combination of the White Witch of Narnia fame and Milificent of Disney's Sleeping Beauty. I though I did pretty well. HOWEVER, there was one other adult woman at the callback and she read the scene after I did. And she was fabulous! Really amazing...it was really humbling to watch her. She took a very different approach, but she was so natural and comfortable with her movements and her timing was phenomenal. It really was quite an education watching her; that's another reason why the all-in-one-room audition format is so great...it's an incredible opportunity to learn from other (real) actors. Honestly, watching her do the part made me feel fairly silly for thinking I could pull it off. Although, I do think I could pull it off...I just need to learn to be more physically comfortable on stage. Of course, that's where direction helps.

Then we read a scene with the Mother and the Father and the Neighbor. That scene was nice and went fairly well, but I felt like I really just "read" it as opposed to "acted." The guys who read the scene with me were amazingly talented and I felt like a bit of a hack...I was painfully aware of how my face was not interested in reacting the way I wanted it to. Somehow the nerves in my stomache were also telling the nerves in my face how to behave. In the words of Charlie Brown: "My body and my brain hate each other."

And so, I wait...nervously and impatiently...growing more doubtful with each passing moment. I mean, if I were "in" wouldn't someone have told me by now? There were supposed to be three adult women at the callback but only two of us were there. And as far as I can tell, there are only two roles for adult women. Which could be good, but that third really could be someone the director knows well and is wonderful and therefore is a shoo-in. I hate being analytical. It's exhausting.

The Audition - October 20th

Tonight was an absolute blast. The first read through of the script is on Monday the 27th, so that means a minimal amount of waiting to hear whether I got a part.

I was scheduled to work tonight until 7, but the auditions started at 6:30, so I had plans to leave work around 6:45 and drive right to the audition (about 45 minutes from where I work) in order to be seen before they ended at 9. However, I did not plan well, and realized that I was wearing pants that required heels and that my heels were extraordinarily loud and obnoxious. A former director once gave the sage advise that noisy heels are incredibly distracting during an audition and so should not be worn. So I thought, okay, I will run to the mall on my lunch break and find a cheap pair of quiet shoes that are tall enough to keep my cuffs off the floor. After 1 1/2 hours and 5 stores, I was convinced that such a shoe does not exist. So I decided I would have to leave work earlier in order to go home first and change both my pants and shoes. This actually worked well as Perfect Friend and I would be able to drive together rather than meet there. On the way home, my car started freaking up as I accelerated to 60. I kept it under 60 and it seemed fine, but then I noticed the temperature gauge said, well, HOT. So I frantically called my husband who told me that I had to pull over and shut the car off or I would ruin the engine. Argh. I did not have time for such nonsense. But I did as I was told...and...long story short...the car made it home, I put on new pants and shoes, and PF and I headed out to our Audition.

This play is a children's play written by the director who was, naturally, holding the auditions. It runs about an hour and has a cast of many children, a few parents, and a fierce witch who has spirits for servants and children for slaves. What could be more fun? We filled out our applications and waited to be called in to read some scenes. We were called in with about 8 children between the ages of about 8 and 17. Sadly, the director noticed that PF had a conflict that fell on the same date as a performance, so she was told she wouldn't be able to be cast, but that she could stay and read for fun if she wanted. She opted to stay in the room to watch the auditions. It was sad really...but I think it must be a much better way to get a "no."

So I read for one of the Mother parts, and I read for the Witch...and man was it fun! I think I would LOVE acting with kids...they are amazing! It was so incredible how uninhibited they were, and how friendly. One of the scenes was just a bunch of siblings fighting and not doing what they were told and these kids were so great...they all behaved just like real siblings. I loved it. And the other scene involved the witch and 4 of the kids reading the parts of the spirits...that was fun because I got to yell at them and point my fingers in their faces and try to terrify them. So, first I was mommy dearest, and then I was vile villain...either part would make me glad.

The best part though, was at the end when we were getting ready to leave and the two youngest girls walked by and smiled at me and one gave me a thumbs up and said, "Good Job." And then the other smiled at me and said, "Good Job." I said, "Thanks! You too!" I hope I get to see those girls again.

The Audition - October 18th

So, yesterday, I had my weekly Saturday morning coffee talk with my favorite Coffee Friend. I had to cut it short because I didn't wake up early enough to get all ready for the audition before I went to meet her. After coffee, I scooted home to finish primping. I had spent about 3 hours the night before searching through clearance racks at TJ Maxx, Kohl's, Old Navy and Target looking for the perfect audition dress and shoes. I found a dress and I found shoes, but when I got home to put them on on Saturday morning, I decided that a dress that I had in my closet would be an adequate choice. However, the $25 spent on the new dress was not wasted because it is adorable and I will wear it often. That's what I'm telling myself. The shoes were perfect and highly necessary...a sensible pair of black flats is never a wasted purchase. That is also what I'm telling myself. I dolled all up and then headed out to pick up Perfect Friend. When I got to her house we each squealed in delight at how stunning the other looked and how precious it was that we were both wearing black and white dresses. And then we headed north to the audition.

Neither of us had any idea what to expect; my previous experience auditioning at this theater involved reading a monologue from the script. When we got there, there were about 6 others seated in the hallway waiting for their turns and a few pockets of people strewn about reading bits of scenes together. We were each given an application which we filled out, all the while giggling nervously and commenting on how we couldn't write because our hands were shaking. And then we were called in...together. Only the director was in the room, and he said that he would have us both read for the same part. He gave us each a piece of the script and told us that he would send someone else out to read the other part and we should work on the scene for a while in the hallway and then we would be called back in to read it.

When we were called in, I went first. I thought I nailed that scene. It was so fun, and the director laughed at appropriate times and seemed genuinely pleased. Afterwards, he gave me another scene to work on and said he would send out some others to read the other parts. So I went into the hall to work on scene 2 while Perfect Friend took her turn with scene 1. Three of us were working on our scene together when Perfect Friend came out of her first pass. She also had a new scene in hand. Her scene was the Monologue. I think my gut could sense at that moment my impending failure. We other three were called in to read our scene and it went fairly well...I didn't feel as confident about it as the first one. Afterwards the Director said, "Thank you for your time. We are having call backs on Tuesday so this afternoon or tomorrow we will call you if we need to hear any more from you." Then Perfect Friend went in to read her Monologue and afterwards was told the same thing, and then we drove home.

I dropped her off at her house, and then went home. I changed my clothes, got ready to take my dog for a walk and then remembered to turn my phone back on. There was a voicemail. Keep in mind that Saturday's auditions were to run from 10 AM to 3 PM and the time was currently about 1:30. The voicemail was from Perfect Friend squealing with delight that she had just been called and invited to callbacks on Tuesday. The auditions weren't even over for the day, and she already got her callback. I received no such call.

There has been a battle raging between spirit and flesh for the last 24 hours that is utterly painful. Rationally and in my heart of hearts, I am completely and absolutely thrilled for Perfect Friend. Of course I am! But in my ego and my flesh I am sad and disappointed. It stands to reason, and I don't think there is anything wicked or selfish in feeling that way...I think it would be less human if I weren't battling these irritating emotions. It has been really helpful, mentally preparing for this sort of inevitability. I read somewhere that Jack Nicholson was rejected for something like 25 parts before he landed a role. So much depends on the vision that the director has for the character, and when many actors are vying for one part, they might all be talented actors, but ultimately only one can be cast. A rejection must not be interpreted as categorical failure. This is a hard truth for me to accept, but I know it is so! So many fabulous writers and actors and musicians encountered rejection after rejection after rejection, but they were so certain that the pursuit of their passion was not in vain that they refused to give up. And eventually, their perseverance was rewarded. Of course, there is the question of talent and the potential lack thereof...but I'm not quite ready to accept that as an option yet.

Perfect Friend and I are going to another audition tomorrow night (Monday). This one has a lot of roles and many of them are gender neutral...so that's a plus. If she gets another callback and I don't, I will try desperately to not be jealous. But I might want to pull her hair or something. I never said I was perfect.

A New Adventure

Okay - it's time for the next installment. This entry will attempt to accomplish what I intended to do with this blog from it's inception - sharing with you, dear reader, the before, during and after of a multitude of theatrical experiences.

This entry stars me, of course, and my dear friend Perfect Friend. She doesn't know that that is her name...I hope she isn't too uncomfortable learning it via the interweb. This is what I call her when I'm talking about her with my co-worker...because it's pretty much true. Perfect Friend is beautiful and thin and smart and funny and kind and silly and talented. She sang at her own wedding and she loves spending time with her own family AND with her in-laws. Within 24 hours of joining facebook, she had about 300 friends. She is a genuinely happy person who is married to her genuinely happy male counterpart, and it is often a mystery why this genuinely happy person enjoys the friendship of the little black raincloud that is me...but she does. Because she is Perfect Friend. And I'm not complaining.

So, Perfect Friend has a dream of being an actress...particularly in a musical (or musicals) of some sort...which I think is a brilliant idea because she would be really fantastic. I also share this dream, although the musical piece of it for me will undoubtedly be limited to the occasional glorious chorus role. Together, we two are embarking on an audition frenzy. Well, we have two auditions planned for non-musicals this month and she will be auditioning for at least two musicals over the next few months (if I have to drive her to them myself).

Our first audition is really a no-chancer because it is a fairly popular play among play going sorts (though I had never heard of it, but then, I'm pretty much a poser), and there is only one female role for a female in her 20s-30s. It would be a pretty sweet role, but I imagine there will be a zillion (literally) 20-30 year olds vying for it, so we have agreed to look at this as a practice audition...although either of us would be ecstatic to be cast, and (almost) equally ecstatic if the other were cast, so it's really all for fun. That is what I keep telling myself...I think I'm almost convinced. I'm really trying to figure out how to look at the audition process as, if nothing else, and opportunity to perform as the star of the show to a private audience for all of 2 minutes.

We got together last weekend to read through the play in it's entirety. We just started reading the script and traded off with every line - truly, it was a theater nerd's delight. The play takes place in the south, but the first two characters are a couple of gents from jolly old England, so we spent two hours interchanging our hack British accents with our hack Southern accents. It was hilarious. If you like that sort of thing...which I do.