Preview Night

We had our first "audience" tonight. It consisted of about 16 people. They were pretty mellow. Still, I'm really glad we had those 16 devoted friends and family there to test our masterpiece on. If the other guests are anything like my beloved guest was, then many of us have been duly showered with praise and will go out on opening night ready to take on the world.

By Sunday night, I will have spent every evening of an entire week with my imaginary family in our imaginary world...and in the real world which (sometimes unfortunately) exists parallel to it. It's sort-of like living in my favorite kind of book - the kind where a separate and unfamiliar reality coexists right next door to the mundane. And I suppose, like all good stories, it is inevitable that this one will have to have an ending. At least, the imaginary part - the part that occurs on stage - will have to come to an end. But the reality of all the lives that have been mashed together will continue...and some of our lives will very possibly never be mashed together again. It's the one part of the theater that stinks.

I'm trying to wrap my brain around what life will look like when this is over. Even now, after weeks of rehearsing together, we grow closer and more familiar each time we are together. Claudia, our director, mentioned tonight how this group of kids is really phenomenal ... that there isn't the backstage drama that can so often accompany a cast of many children. I feel like we all just really like each other. When there are 12 women and girls all crammed into a tiny dressing room, there could be complete madness, but there isn't. Everyone is sharing tips on applying eyeliner and blush properly; everyone is zipping someone up, or braiding someones hair, or tying someones ribbons; there are inside jokes and encouragement and silliness and safety.

It's easy to forget that all these little girls and young women have lives outside our imaginary world that I know nothing about. I want to take care in every moment that I get with them to not waste foolish words or leave impressions of vanity and arrogance. I know from being 11 once, and then 13 and 15 and 17 that girls of any age really remember and carry through life some of the more cavalier words spoken by older women and I don't want to ever forget that. These are precious lives that mine is intermingled with for such a short time. It's a privilege not to be taken lightly.