The Read Through

I think I have officially entered the Twilight Zone. Last night we had the first (almost) complete cast reading of the short film script. I have yet to meet the actress who is playing my younger sister...though we are facebook friends due to my prolific cyber stalking tendencies. Hopefully, I will get to meet her next Wednesday.

We were to meet at 7 at a location I had suggested due to my memory of it's having a nice enclosed conference room. My memory was faulty on the "enclosed" point. I got there early and wandered up to the "conference room" which was packed with people I didn't recognize. It was possible that some of them were involved with the film somehow, as I had only met two of the people involved at this point, but as I didn't see a familiar face, I took a seat elsewhere and waited to recognize someone. At 7, the director appeared as well as the other person I know (who I will have to name something other than "bad cop" going forward...but I haven't decided what yet). There was also a girl who introduced herself to the director - and then to me - she was there to read for a part that needed to be recast due to the original actress dropping out of the project. She was a remarkably confident personality...and everything about her screamed ACTRESS.

Once the room was emptied of all the not-us people, we chatted as we waited for the last of the cast to arrive. I mentioned to the girl that this was my first film experience. She said that she hadn't done much film work, but that she needed to get a "reel" put together. I said that I had no idea what that meant, and she happily obliged me. It is a compilation of various bits of film work one has done that can be sent out as or with a resume...or something. I asked who she would submit it to, and she said that she had a couple of agents who would submit it for her. Oy. Yes, I was feeling a bit out of my league. The last guy of the cast arrived and we introduced ourselves...and he chatted with the director some. This actor had not yet read the script...and yet was cast in the film...which was interesting. We talked about the filming schedule and potential conflicts and all that, and the director mentioned that we were working with pretty much all professional actors. At which point, I chimed in, "Um...except for me." He laughed and said, "Except for Jessica." I just wanted it out on the table.

So we started reading...and I understood immediately why Mr. Actor was cast script unseen. He was fantastic...one might even say professional. Ms. Actress was also phenomenal. What struck me about both of them was that they had incredible voices...voices with character and strength and life. I was pretty much in awe of them. And I felt pretty much like a hack. The first time we read it, the director was reading the lines of our one absent cast member...which was a bit awkward, because he was not particularly convincing as a younger sister or female love interest. I suppose he had other things on his mind...like directing a film. The second time we read it, Ms. Actress read the sister's lines as well as her characters lines, and that helped enormously.

I came home last night and told Dan (my hubby) all about it. I said that it is good that my character is a very successful, type A, top of the corporate ladder sort, because it forced me to pretend to be those things. Still, I felt that it was only a matter of time before I would get an email or a phone call relaying sincere regrets about there having been a terrible mistake, and they were going to have to recast my role. But, here it is, 24 hours later, and no such call has come. In fact, some emails were exchanged today that have left me pretty certain that I am actually wanted, for whatever bizarre reason, for this project. I still have tremendous anxiety...I have absolutely no clue what will happen when the camera starts rolling...I have fear that my face will betray me and refuse to cooperate. There is a shot near the end that is of my face as my character thinks about what has transpired. That completely freaks me out.

Still, I am determined to roll with it. To be unaffected, to be sincere, to be Godly, to be faithful, to be teachable, and to have fun.