A Pile of Family

Tonight was my first actual "rehearsal" and it was absolutely wonderful. While getting into my car to drive home, I was overwhelmed by how much I love the theater. At one point during rehearsal, I found myself thinking "I don't want this night to end." I remember when I was a college student (for the three months that I went to college) and I had to write a paper for an English class...it was just after I had been in Auntie Mame...and I remember writing that I knew I wanted to act...that Acting alone would never make me happy, but without it, I would never be completely happy. Of course, at that time I didn't know Jesus...he was there of course, I just wasn't with him...and acting was the thing I latched onto as a piece of fulfillment. In the years between then and now I have come to a much greater understanding of "happiness" and yet, tonight I really remember the utter joy that I experience on stage.

The whole experience of playing a mother of seven is going to be amazing...I've said it before...but I love these kids...I just want to squeeze them all 'til they pop. It's fascinating to see how many of them appear to have been cast in roles that really fit their actual temperament. It is also bizarre being on stage with "my" seven children, and getting some glimpse of the challenges that an actual mother of many might face. It's really difficult to pay equal attention to all the children. I found myself wondering while driving home how easy it would be with so many siblings to feel like the odd one out, or like mom has a favorite, or how each child might come up with various tactics for earning attention and favor.

We have a fairly small space that makes up our stage "home" so we are very cozy. I was reminded of my aunt and uncle who have 5 kids and they all just love each other so much (though they might not always admit it). At Christmas, when there are well over 20 people crammed into my grandparents living room to open presents, their whole family can be found all piled up together between half of a couch and the floor underneath it. They aren't even aware that they do it...it's just so much more natural for them to be close than it is for them to seek to be apart. That is the kind of family I would like my imaginary family to be.